


Foobsnark Reloaded

by MrToddWilkins (orphan_account)



Series: The Foobiverse Revisited [11]
Category: For Better or For Worse (Comics)
Genre: Snark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:47:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 7,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22025668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/MrToddWilkins
Summary: The main posts and the comments will be in separate chapters now,so it’ll be very,very,very long chapter-wise.
Series: The Foobiverse Revisited [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1495973





	1. March 5,2005

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The main posts and the comments will be in separate chapters now,so it’ll be very,very,very long chapter-wise.

Okay, so today's (Saturday's) strip was one of the fastest problem resolutions I've EVER seen in FOOB, and that's saying a lot. Lovey must be independently wealthy, and just renting apartments to avoid loneliness, if she really values Saint Mike and his family above profit. And Mrs. Dingle seemed to be the same way: liking to have young people around because she had no life of her own. Lynn and her "it's kind neighbors and landladies that make the world go 'round" attitude is so unrealistic!


	2. March 5,2005 - comments

Wait, so, are Mrs. Dingle and Lovey two different people? Oh dear. Was Mrs. Dingle Mike and Weed's old landlord? I think I got them mixed up along the way.  
  
And really...who would want Mike and Deanna living near them, anyway? Seems like their kids make a real racket.  
  


Mrs. Dingle is the one who had the stroke last year. She was Mike and Weed's landlord in London, ON, when they were in college. She had scraggly gray hair and no glasses. Lovey is the one who prepared Mr. B. for burial when he was accidentally sent to Mike and Dee's as part of a "food drop". She has dark hair and dark glasses, and is prone to saying stuff like "Oy!" so we know she's ethnic.  
  
And yeah, I would think two screaming kids whose parents are completely unable to rein them in would be a liability, not an asset.  
  


Thanks--that clarifies the landlady situation a lot for me. I guess the Lovey thing happened during the months where my computer was dead and I was only getting the newspaper 3 days a week...missed quite a few strips. Here I thought Lovey and Mrs. Dingle were the same person this whole time....


	3. March 5,2005 (2)

So it's obvious, at least to Moira, that Elly is losing her grip. And is it me, or does that kid in the fourth-to-last panel, the one wiping his nose, look an awful lot like Jesse, Breath From Lizard's pupil?


	4. March 5,2005 (2) - comments

I don't think that's Mira, it's the store assistant. Anyway, I bet they're setting up for Elly to quit and become a full-time grandma, so she can devote herself to making Mike and Deanna's lives easier.

————

Of course,I generally don't think of Sunday strips as "canon", unless they're specifically tied to events in the dailies, like weddings, births and deaths. Recently, we've seen Elly at home when in the dailies she was in Mtwhatsit, and am uninjured Liz when in the dailies she was being pulled to school on a sled.   
  
But it could indeed be that Elly is going to retire. Then again, it could be just another case of Elly bitching about inconsequential stuff (Christmas music, voicemail). I do remember that the summer before last, Elly was opposed to the idea of Dr. John retiring, because he seemed to think she would retire as well, "and I'd just be tired". But who knows.

———-

Okay, I know Sunday strips have nothing to do with the storyline, but this has got to be the _most unfortunate placing ever_. I mean, have we even seen Elly back from Mtwhatsit yet? I think Lynn took a couple hits to many from the peace pipe or something. And, of course, it's another polar opposites strip. Why does everything have to be either horrible or peachy keen?


	5. March 6,2005

Aha! Further proof that Therese (sorry, don't know how to do accents) is evil! She doesn't want gifts, just money! But...who has a baby shower two weeks after the birth? Could it be that she wants to offset the hospital bill? No, can't be: Canada has socialized medicine.  
  
And "quotes" and an "an'" in the third panel. "Outside" visitors? Outside what? Is Elly even close enough to the Caines (that's Anthony's last name) to want to visit? Wait, what am I saying? Of course SuperGrandma has to make an appearance at every new mom's bedside!  
  
But hey, don't sweat it, Therese: Liz is way too busy up in the frozen North to come down to steal your husband and newborn baby. And "Francoise"? What I wonder is, why haven't we heard Therese making catty remarks in French, secure in the knowledge that whitebread Liz will never recognize the words for bitch, whore and man-stealing strumpet.  
  
Also, look at panel 4. April, don't put your hands in your pocket and slouch forward like that; it makes you look like you have a gut. And, when you pensively prop your chin on both hands with elbows on the table, then abruptly stand upright, don't you get dizzy?


	6. March 6,2005 - comments

Darn that Therese! Not wanting a hoarde of non-family stomping through your hospital room when you're very tired and quite possibly not feeling well! How dare she want bonding time with her family!  
  
Don't they send new moms home within a day or so if there's not a problem?  
  
But, yeah, the post birth shower's strange. It's not like they didn't know she was pregnant.  
  


We do post-birth showers in my own community (Ashkenazi Jews), because of a very old superstition - buying too much or receiving gifts for the baby, before the baby arrives, supposedly calls down bad luck on the child. You set up the nursery immediately after the birth, and have baby showers after the baby's born, in case something goes wrong in the last month or so.

Yes, this Canuck of more-or-less WASPish ancestry was also told that it was bad luck to hold or even schedule a baby shower prior to the birth of the child.  
  
And if there are no complications, Therese and the baby should be out of the hospital within 48 hours. Let them get some sleep, Elly!  
  


I always thought having a baby shower after the baby was born was more logical that way you don't buy a whole bunch of boy things and the mom has a girl or vice versa. The advent of Ultrasound has changed that I guess, but ultrasound can still be wrong. Plus the baby shower after the fact gives people the chance to meet the baby in one fell swoop instead of people stopping by everyday or so for weeks to meet the baby...and mom is tired and out of sorts.  
  
Now asking for cash instead of gifts well..now that is tacky. Just to be snide I'd donate cash to some, adopt a tree or whale thing and say...this is what I did with the cash. But, I'm mean like that. You might think you have everything you need for baby Therese, but when you get home with the little tyke, you'll find you don't have half enough. See how Lynn has made Therese extra evil, she's insinuating that she is the only person she knows with good taste and that SHE will do the gift purchasing, because well, you'll just give her something tacky that she'll have to donate to charity ala' Mike and Dee.  
  


—————

I can't imagine why Therese would invite the Pattersons to her baby shower. Or, why they would want to go. Elly and April blame Therese for Liz's accident, so why would they attend anything for her?  
  
Maybe Tracey's just being presumptuous and inviting a bunch of people that aren't invited. It'll be a huge foobish scandal, which will prove that the Pattersons are saints and Therese is the tacky evil of Canada.  
  


———-

I've decided that I will view this from the Therese-centric version of FOOB someone brilliant suggested on FT. What really happened is that Tracy brought Anthony and Therese her old baby stuff. It turns out that Therese had a rough labor, and her feelings about spending time with the baby have changed, so both she and Anthony are going to take some parental leave. Since their income will be greatly reduced, Therese thanked Tracy and innocently told her, gee, we have everything we need now except money! Somehow this got twisted in the Patterson's shower invite from an offhand comment to a rude request. Poor Therese, so misunderstood.


	7. March 7,2005

### Text

“An'"s: Four.  
  
Lynn overdoes it with drawing characters talking with their eyes closed, IMO. It gives the impression of smugness, which is bad enough when it seems to be intentional, as when Elly says, "I'm going to set up on your couch for three days!". But why on earth does April close her eyes while telling Liz that Francoise is "gonna be fair an' freckled like her dad"? Perhaps she's rubbing it in that Liz missed her chance to make a baby with Anthony that would share her goddess-like characteristics?  
  
And Liz thinks money is "so impersonal". Well, what would she have sent anyway? A dreamcatcher? A container of moose stew?  
  
And what is up with April's hair?! She looks like an extra from Wigstock! Check out panel two: smugly closed eyes AND hair of such an altitude that it has to be supported by a pillow! Does she own a copy of "Pricilla Presley's Guide to Coiffure"?


	8. March 7,2005 - comments

You KNOW Liz would have sent something ‘meaningful’. Heh, maybe that's why Therese went the money route. If that's the case, I can see her point :D  
  
And thank you for that little homily at the end, April. You couldn't say "Yeah, we thought it was tacky, but what are you going to do?" like the rest of us.  
  
Thank God, the baby will be blond as opposed to dark like Therese. It looks more like a Patterson that way.

————

Well, it's safe to say that the evilization of Therese is still in full swing.  
  
I wish Therese and Anthony had asked for money to set up a college fund for the kid, but you know it's going to end up being spent on a pair of pumps and a matching handbag. Because eeevil French Canadians do that. It sure sucks not being in love a Patterson, doesn't it? You either love them and are a good person or not love them and are terrible soul-suckers. Or you're Becky, which is a different brand of evil altogether.

—————

Today's last panel... argh. I think I've evolved a new set of eye muscles simply for the purpose of rolling my eyes at these foobs. Lynn simply cannot resist the urge to preach. It's a comic strip (key word: comic) but she thinks a punchline is a waste of space when she could insert a wise lesson instead. It's really getting to the point where I can't stand reading FOOB.

—————-

Nah, Liz is, like, nearly a native in Mtwhatsit. She would've sent _fish_, which is what they use up there instead of money.


	9. March 8,2005

“An'"s: None.

Gratuitous "quotes": None.

Improper punctuation: Three times. Panel one: Dash following an exclamation mark, and unnecessary comma. Panel two: Dash following a period.

Okay, so Elly is so grossly offended by Therese's breach of etiquette, she's sending her fifty bucks. Huh. And she's so mad she's gleeking! Look at her sealing the envelope!

Meanwhile, April is going to the shower, with a gift. Is she even invited? I'd like to think that this will lead to some conflict with Therese: "You tell your sister to keep away from my husband!" "Therese, don't be such a foob! She broke her leg tryin' to get away from you!" I don't have much confidence that we'll get any kind of resolution here, BUT, the fact that the last panel is focused on April, rather than Elly's reaction, leads me to think that we will see her there, whatever comes of it.

I do have to say, I like the "rripp" sound effect when Elly's tearing the *cheque* out of the *chequebook*. Meanwhile, April looks as if she's never seen such an action before. But that device in panel one is SO tired. Never in my life have I asked my parents "Whatcha doing?" when they're engrossed in paperwork. If they wanted me to know what they were doing, they would have told me without being asked. Otherwise, I knew enough to stay away; you don't want to get in my dad's face when he's balancing the checkbook.


	10. March 8,2005 - comments

No, no, see, Therese will now think that _April_ is after her husband. I'm betting rumours of April's bad reputation (from "hanging out" with that Becky slut!) have found their way to Therese's ears...maybe _this_ will be the "Clash of the Titans"?  
  


Ooooh I like that!  
  


—————

The _hell?_ I reread that strip about three times with my jaw hanging open to see if there was something I missed.

Once again, why the hell does April care? She doesn't know these two aside from possibly having met them through Liz, certainly not well enough to go to their baby shower _alone._ What's she going to do there anyway - everyone else is going to be around Liz's age talking about babies and (because this is the foobverse) how pathetic they are if they don't have any yet. And why would she be expected to give them a gift at all? Wouldn't she be considered part of the family since she's still a kid and still lives with them?

  
April knows Anthony fairly well. She babysits Gordon and Tracey's kids, which leads to sometimes hanging around the garage when she's not babysitting. Since Anthony works for G&T, this puts April in contact with him. Shortly before Anthony's wedding to Therese, he and April had a several-strip conversation. He gained several cool points in my estimation when April asked, "Is Gordon rich?" and he replied, "That's a rude question, and I don't intend to answer it." (I forget if that was before or after April blabbed that Liz had to find an escort to the wedding because Warren "took off".)

But the Therese connection, I don't get. April has only mentioned her in a derogatory way in her monthly letters; I can't imagine that she'd want to go to any gathering that's held in her honor. And you're right: why would she even want to go, when she deemed the story of Robin's birth "gross"? If she doesn't like that kind of talk, a baby shower is something she should actively avoid.

————-

What's wrong with being a passive-aggressive little sneak who go around deliberately exacerbating an already tense situation?

I've been going to baby showers my whole life, so it's not so implausible for April to be going to Therese's to me. I think Anthony is, in general, pretty close to the Pattersons. They may not be the kind of friends who phone each day, but I think they're the kind of friends where an invitation is expected for major events like births, marriages and funerals.


	11. March 9,2005

“An'"s: None.  
  
Gratuitous "quotes": One, with an underline. (I don't count "baby sister" being in quotes, since April is throwing it back in Mike's face.)  
  
Mike, don't be such a dick. Elizabeth is a college graduate and a school teacher, living on her own. Anthony is a married man, an accountant or whatever he is, and he was a teenager when you met him. Neither of them is a little kid. Your DAUGHTER is a little kid: surely an insightful, educated person such as yourself can see the difference? Don't give April that bitchface like you do in panel 5.


	12. March 9,2005 - comments

How far apart are Mike and Elizabeth in age, though? It's just a couple of years, right? So if she's a "little kid" to him, then what is he.....or is that wishful thinking on Mike's part?  
  
Also, in the first panel, I read "Anthony Caine" as "Anthonycaine", like it's some new form of novocaine. How appropriate, because this whole "Therese is a money-grubbing whore" storyline is leaving me quite numb. Bah.

When April was born, Mike was 15 and Liz was 10.  
  


————

I don't really blame Mike for still thinking of the people he knew as a kid that were younger than him as still young - after all, isn't practically every older sibling convinced of the inferiority of their younger siblings because they're not as "grown-up" as they are*? Most older siblings try to ditch their younger siblings at one point or another because they don't want to hang around with uncool little kids. We practically train ourselves to think of younger siblings as really young, and it's hard sometimes to get out of that mind frame.  
  
That said, the strip still sucks. Why the hell is April trying to prove how grown-up she is by listing the things that she will be able to do **one day**? Seriously, yo. "One day, off in the future, I'll be fourteen! And one day, off in the future from that, I'll be able to drive! And guys check me out now! In fact, there's an entire webpage devoted to counting down the days until I turn eighteen!"


	13. March 10,2005

An'"s: None.  
  
Gratuitous "quotes": None.  
  
Misspellings: One. The word is p-i-e-r-o-g-i-e-s, Lynn.   
  
Okay, so Lovey walks in without waiting to be admitted, and brings food. If Mira did that, she'd be lynched. I wonder why the stem of the talk balloon where either Mike or Deanna greets her looks like a duodenum? And she certainly is modest: "You're so kind." "I know!"  
  
Two velcro kids: Merrie clinging to Deanna's leg, and Robin gumming April's shoulder. Is it me, or does that kid have a really weirdly shaped head?   
  
Funny: Usually when cartoonists age, they start drawing their strips in fewer panels. This is the third FOOB strip this week to have *five* panels instead of four. And could that fourth panel be any more crowded? No wonder Mike and Dee have to move!  
  
Last panel? Beyond lame. Anyway, why should they have to come by when they're *ready* to sign the lease? It's in their hands; they should come by when they *have* signed it.


	14. March 11,2005

An'"s: None.  
  
Gratuitous "quotes": None.  
  
Improper use of punctuation: Panel 3. Dash following a comma.  
  
Five panels again.  
  
Well, another Saturday strip that sums up the week. First panel states that they're going to move into the apartment above the current one because it's bigger. I said on FT that Lynn makes a habit of this, the same way the soap opera strips sum up the week's events in the Sunday strip.  
  
And our insightful April is finally the one to state it in plain language: Pattersons are just plain good to have around. Like Smuckers jam or fresh brewed coffee, they make every day special.  
  
Deanna is standing in the foreground, but with her back to the reader, in panel 3, the better to display her ample hips. And judging by the swish marks in front of Robin's pacifier mean, he's sucking hard, Maggie Simpson-style.  
  
Now, the last panel, I don't get. I didn't detect any sarcasm in what April said. Perhaps it would have played better in live action. At any rate, we get a break from the usual plinky-plunky-music-of-life ending: instead, we get slapstick!


	15. March 11,2005 - comments

I think Mike meant that he shouldn't have mouthed off at April. Regardless, it was still stupid. Wasn't she trying to prove how grown-up she is two days ago? Which, in FOOBtime was about half an hour ago? April, dear child, it's time to stop bitching. If you feel you have the right to get all self-righteous about being older and more mature than your significantly older (and yet equal in maturity) sibling views you as, you'd better have the clout to back it up or else your argument is going absolutely nowhere. Not that any person in their right mind took her seriously when she gave her spiel about being mature (again, a terrible argument, considering it consisted mostly of evidence of what the future will bring), but it'd be a lot easier to believe is she wasn't flinging around peas.  
  
On a completely unrelated note, look what the spell check brought in - suggestions for the proper spelling of FOOBtime: Lobotomy, Fatima, Forbid, Forbade, Forbids, Fobbed, Bottomer, Forbidden, Bottom, Ibidem, Verbatim

———-

I guess Mike's comment in the penultimate panel was supposed to be sarcastic. April didn't detect the sarcasm because she's busy flicking peas at the baby, or something. Meanwhile, Mike is so frustrated about his failed attempt at sarcasm that his face has caved in. No wait.... Maybe.... Whatever. I shouldn't have to look at a comic strip 12 times to figure out what's going on.


	16. March 12,2005

  
Wait...who's that guy? Do I know him? Look familiar to any of you?

Careful, John: in panel 1 you seem to be driving with your eyes closed, and in panel 3, just blank eyeglass lenses. And both Elly and April have those perfectly round speed-freak eyes.

So Little Miss I'm-Going-To-Be-Driving-In-Two-Years points out that the alleged fogey looks to be the same age as Dr. John. But I wouldn't count him out: after all, he did have flame-orange lettering in his word balloon in panel 6.

But meanwhile, what's Elly doing in that same panel? Is the car going at hyperspeed, forcing her to close her eyes? Is she sending a subliminal message to the other passenger: "My husband can outdrive your husband!" Or is she merely passing gas?   



	17. March 12,2005 - comments

It's "The Fast and the FOOBious!  
  
And St. Elly the Good actually has a bitchy little look on her face, which is just cracking me up. (How unsettling. I laughed at a FOOB strip. At least is was for reasons other than Lynn intended.)  
  
Is the SNORT!! and the >>>Grumble<<< at the beginning there to point out John's **own** incipient Fogeyism?  
  


What is up with the speed-freak eyes (great name)?


	18. March 13,2005

Shelwood says...  
  
I've decided that I will view this from the Therese-centric version of FOOB someone brilliant suggested on FT. What really happened is that Tracy brought Anthony and Therese her old baby stuff. It turns out that Therese had a rough labor, and her feelings about spending time with the baby have changed, so both she and Anthony are going to take some parental leave. Since their income will be greatly reduced, Therese thanked Tracy and innocently told her, gee, we have everything we need now except money! Somehow this got twisted in the Patterson's shower invite from an offhand comment to a rude request. Poor Therese, so misunderstood.  
  
\---------------------------  
  
You know, that is a really good theory! And I would applaud Lynn if it turned out like that.


	19. March 14,2005

Another five-panel strip.  
  
I forget who asked, and on what board, how April gets to Mike and Dee's. Now we know: she takes the bus.  
  
But there seems to be a disconnect here. It'll take an hour to drive back in a car? I've never known a bus ride to take *less* time than a car ride. So, what, she just hops on the bus for a jaunt of more than an hour, then expects to be driven back? Or the visit was planned and discussed, with her arriving before Mike got home, and the expectation that either he or Deanna would drive her home? And is this supposed to be a weekday?  
  
Meanwhile, Deanna's bathing Robin in the sink again. There was some discussion of this practice on FT, but I forget what was said. At any rate, that was one *quick* bath! In panel 1, he's half-submerged, then in panel 2, Deanna's already walking away with him. He appears to be wrapped in a towel in panels 3 and 4, but in panel 5, he's wearing sleepers. How can she dress him that fast? And what the heck is she sitting on/leaning against? A futon with a featherbed on it, maybe?  
  
And we see that Merrie still has her attachment issues. How DARE Mommy pay attention to her brother and not her? I'm also wondering how Robin is able to say "Vrbp" and "Hic!" at the same time.


	20. March 14,2005 - comments

I'm assuming the visit was invited. A Patterson would NEVER just drop in! Gasp!  
  
Of course, if she did, she would be welcome because a Patterson always brightens the world around her. ::extreme sarcasm::  
  
I've been around friends with toddlers and Merrie isn't doing anything out of the ordinary. She's, what, two? That's a baby herself. They can be clingy even without a sibling.  
  


As April lives in a suburb of Hamilton, and Mike and Deanna live in what I presume to be a western suburb of Toronto (and add me to the list of people who think that it makes ***absolutely no sense*** for Mike and Deanna to be living in a rented apartment in a suburb of Toronto), April probably took a GO bus (rapid commuter transit) to visit. GO transportation is usually as fast as or faster than driving, but as it's geared for commuters, there's little or no service outside of rush hours.  
  
Mike works outside of the home and doesn't spend much time with his kids as it is. It's sad that he'd prefer two hours of driving on congested roads with maniac drivers to spending two hours with his kids.

I actually could sympathize with Dee a bit in this strip, though. (I can NOT believe I just typed those words). She is with the kids all day, and sometimes it can be a bit much. My own mother, who I know loved me--and still loves me--very much, told me that she took a 6 month leave from work when I was born, but ended up going back part-time after 4 1/2 months. Not because she didn't feel maternal, she just needed a change of scenery once in a while. You know who I don't get, though? MIKE. Argh. He works all the time, then when he's not at the magazine itself, he's running off to Weed's attic to get writing done. When he is with the kids, he's complaining about how Dee's acting ("isn't that dangerous?"), or calling his mom for help, or making sour faces at the prospect of--gasp!--being alone with them. Does he even enjoy being a father at all? Or is this the parallel of the Evil!Therese storyline:Evil!Dee tricks Mike into having kids (at least Merrie), and we must feel sorry for the martyred St. Michael of Milborough.


	21. March 15,2005

“An'"s: One.  
  
I guess it's always going to be five panels from now on.   
  
So, in the first panel, we find out that Deanna is hep to the jive, and in panel 2, that she's bilingual. Wait---doesn't Therese speak French? Is there something Deanna's not telling us?  
  
And what the heck kind of cityscape is this? In panel 2, it looks like the car is headed directly into a Japanese screen. And is that snow on the ground? Then, in panel 3, I can just barely see two cars, and they look like they're floating down a river past a couple of giant subwoofers.   
  
And apparently, an hour in a car with April is a respite. Deanna must REALLY hate her kids.


	22. March 15,2005 - comments

Actually, it looks like Toronto... In panel 2 it looks like they're heading down one of the streets in TO that curves around a building (puts me in mind of Dundas, and you can see the subway tracks behind the car). Panel 3 is fairly believably Yonge St (there are a couple of buildings that look like giant sub-woofers, specifically sam the record man).

I kind of liked it, too. Especially since, as I'm in the third trimester with my first child, I've had the usual late-night freakouts about "Will everyone stop seeing me as _me_, and start seeing me as _mom_?"  
  
Not that being known as a mom is bad, of course I do not mean that at all. But, I'd rather keep some of my own identity as well, and that's what I'm reading into Dee's thoughts here.  
  


Gotta go with the flow, here. I did not, for once, snort into my Cheerios upon reading FOOB this morning. Today's strip was all right.  
  
Of course, there's always *some* snark factor :) Dee and April call each other "girlfriend" and "baby." Don't know about you, but I need to be six drinks to the wind to talk that way. It's roadside, woman!  
  
FOOB driving-related strips are always amusing, too, because LJ always draws her cars with the wheels slightly off the ground. It's supposed to say "motion" but to me it says "hovercar!"


	23. March 16,2005

“An'"s: Two.  
  
Not sure why there was an ellipsis in "besides...she's ready!" Is it that this is a big reveal? Or is starting daycare such a momentous occasion that April is in awe at the concept?  
  
Okay, so I displayed some ignorance yesterday. I've since been informed that Lynn actually gave a very accurate rendition of Yonge Street. My bad.  
  
Today's strip: Elly looks like one of the Living Dead in panel 1. And she's in her robe. How late is it? I saw that Merrie was being put into her nightgown when April left M&D's apartment, but even factoring in travel time, either they stay up really late, or Elly goes to bed really early.   
  
Panel 2: When someone gets the Vader silhouette, that means they're not happy about something. So I take it Elly has a problem with M&D changing apartments? Then in panel 3, April and Elly appear to be the same height. Well, perhaps they are.   
  
Panel 4: Oh, that's funny, Lynn! April's talking about how fast kids grow up, as if she's not a kid, but Elly thinks she is one! :::wipes tear from eye::: That sure is one meaty buttcheek, though. I guess she IS growing up fast!


	24. March 16,2005 - comments

Merrie already had a sitter and Robin was in daycare at least part of the day, while Deanna stayed home? No wonder their finances were tight! Sounds like she's already getting plenty of time off from being a Mom.  
  
What's the whole "She's ready!" deal? I know infants who are put in daycare...of course, that's because both parents WORK.  
  


My brain's been hurting trying to figure out where the heck Michael and Dee live where going down Yonge Street is a viable way to drive anyone home. They live far enough from Toronto for Michael to have to take non-TTC (Toronto Transit Corp) transit, but close enough for April to make it to their place on a bus? I can understand keeping things vague to make the strip more universal, but why throw in obvious Toronto landmarks?


	25. March 17,2005

April and Becky at the mall. My first thought was, "Becky's gonna shoplift!" But no, April is buying a card for the shower. So she's really going. Will we get to SEE it? Only time will tell.   
  
Becky's got something wrong with her leg. She's doing the same thing in panel 2 that she did last month when she was closing her locker and picking up her knapsack simultaneously. And when she asks April to meet her at the food court, April seems to hesitate. Is she miffed that Becky won't join her on her card-finding mission? Has Becky ditched her before for any gig that comes along? Or is she just distracted by Becky's apparent muscle spasm?  
  
So April finds the perfect card, but OMG, it's five dollars! Excuse me? Aren't you the one with the $120 pole dancer dress? (Yes, I know you didn't buy it outright; you traded another outfit for it, but that's still what it cost.) And the last panel is not even a pun. Just an aphorism apparently meant to be taken literally. And what an odd angle on April.   
  
Now, what's the deal here? Is April suppposed to be aware of what things used to cost, and therefore flabbergasted that the greeting card market has reached such astronomical prices? If so, then that's just bloody ridiculous. A 14 y/o is not going to have a concept of what things *used* to cost, since they've only been active consumers, buying more than candy and gum, for a little while. That would be an Elly gag transplanted into an April strip. There is no escape from Elly's homespun philosophy!  
  
Or could it be that this is April's first time buying a greeting card, and she's merely getting sticker shock without a frame of reference? In that case, welcome to life. I paid $5 for a Valentine for my husband this year, and that was in American dollars. Wouldn't $5 Canadian be like $3 American? ;) (Apologize to Canadians reading this, and by all means correct me if I'm wrong.) 


	26. March 17,2005 - comments

And you're right, it'd be the predictable outcome. Then she's gonna tell April, "An' I've missed two periods!" Nah, THAT won't happen. Elly's not ready to deal with pubescent pregnancy, and in any case I'm betting Beckers is still virgo intacta.  
  


Right now there's barely any difference between the US and Canadian dollars, but prices haven't been changed to match. Despite the dollars being nearly the same, April would be spending more on the card than an American would. I don't know what the exact correlation would be, but (just for an example) I bought a $14.99 book the other day that would have cost $9.99 to an American. Regardless, why doesn't she just make her own card? She's fourteen and, apparently, computer-savvy. Save yourself the five bucks, kid.  
  
That whole part with Becky was useless. I think it was just there to show that they went to the mall for later in the storyline, but it was still a very choppy strip. Wouldn't it have been better to see April complaining about the price of the card to Becky? Flow-wise, I mean, considering that nobody gives a rat's ass about the friggin' card and never, ever will.   
  


Whatever happened to "laughter is the best medicine"? And are you seriously telling me that Lilliput's doesn't sell cards of any sort? I find that hard to believe. I'm not saying April is obligated to use one of theirs, but at the very least, she should know what they cost.   
  
More importantly, LJ has SOME nerve making a comment about how a $5 card is expensive. I mean, they're just thoughts, right? So I guess this means I can buy the latest volume of YOUR drawn-out thoughts for a penny? Thanks, but I think I'll keep my money.


	27. March 17,2005 (2)

I'm adding a category I should have had from the beginning: Badly Drawn Butts, or BDBs. Today: One, in panel 4.  
  
Whoa! Okay, so now we know why yesterday's strip was so lame. It was merely exposition. The quest for the perfect card led April here to be Shannon's rescuer.   
  
But jeez! Must Lynn infantilize Shannon this way? My first assumption was that someone had been making fun of Shannon. My second was that she was in a similar quandry regarding card affordability. Because a special needs kid bringing all her pennies to the store in a change purse and still coming up fifty cents short is so heartrending, y'know?  
  
Well, it isn't that, but I'm not sure that this is any less glurgey. Are we to believe that Shannon's mom wouldn't keep careful watch on her special-needs daughter? She'd just wander off without a backward glance, and when she noticed the lack of ellipses in the air around her, wouldn't alert the staff, and security if any? She wouldn't even call out, "Hey Shannon, where are you?" I'm not even special needs, and my mom was not shy about letting loose with a golf-course cry of "BETSY!!!!" if I wasn't in sight.


	28. March 17,2005 (2) - comments

Have to admit, I totally didn't see this Shannon encounter coming. I really thought this series would be a Very Special Lesson about Becky.  
  
But maybe it still will be. Maybe Becky will see Shannon with April and freak out, and we'll all be taught the importance of accepting others...zzzz...*snore*  
  
Anyway, yet again - a Saint Patterson comes to the rescue! Wheather you're a special needs student lost in the mall, a young parent overwhelmed by the bratty children you hate, or a noble First Nations child in need of education - a Patterson to the rescue!  
  
And Betsy, so true...my mother still employs the "golf-course cry," and I'm 26.  
  


I SO see this happening. Let's hope Becky calls April a FOOB.  
  


My guess is that April takes a while to help Shannon find her mom, then goes to meet Becky at the food court. Becky bitches at her for not being there to be her wing woman for all the "foxes" at the food court, and does not accept helping Shannon as an excuse. Because Becky is a bitch. And a slut. And soooo not a Patterson.


	29. March 18,2005

An'"s: One, in panel 3. And again, a weird angle on April in panel 2.  
  
So asking a store clerk for assistance doesn't occur to April, either. And apparently, Shannon's not able to describe her mom, so they're just going to have to hang out until she shows up.   
  
Sigh. More infantilizing of Shannon. No, I don't suppose it's unreasonable that she would be anxious in this situation. And I suppose it is more sensible to stand and wait in a place where you can be seen, rather than go looking for the person who's looking for you. amd run the risk of traveling in orbits that never intersect. But why does April have to have her hands on Shannon's shoulders? How is that going to help anything, and how will it make her less self-concious? As Shannon points out in the last panel, it's not normal. Again I say, this scenario is unnecessary and demeaning.   
  
I would say that I think I know what this is leading up to. Becky will walk into the card store only to find April actually TOUCHING!!! a special needs kid, and declare that their friendship is at an end. "But why were you hanging around with her? How could you let yourself be seen with her? You're so embarrassing to be around, April---you're always doing weird things!!" The only flaw is that Becky asked April to meet her at the food court. But perhaps she'll get fed up with waiting, and will remember that April was going to the card store. Or maybe she'll come in just to announce that some gig is giving her a ride home.  
  
And however it turns out, we'll probably still be asked to believe that the mother of a special needs kid would take her responsibility so lightly that Shannon could stop to look at something (as opposed to running around wildly or wandering off while the parent is standing still; I do understand how easily kids can get lost when they do that) and mom would't notice until she was so far away that retracing her steps could take enough time for Shannon to go into a panic? It doesn't add up. But then, neither does water on a sidewalk outside a hotel, or a guy telling his mother-in-law to go home and calling it a clash of the titans.


	30. March 18,2005 - comments

Didn't want to add to the post yet again, but I just noticed this:  
  
In the last panel, _**all** of Shannon's words are separated by ellipses._"Now...just...act...normal,...okay?" (Don't know what that comma is doing there.) This device has officially become a parody of itself.  
  


By the time I was 5 or 6, I knew that if Mom and I got separated, I was to stand where I was or go up to a store clerk. Even in crowded venues, like our State Fair, I knew what landmark to go to if something happened. In other words, we had a plan.  
  
If Shannon's functioning at a high enough level for mainstreaming, then she should have been able to understand a plan like that, if her Mom bothered to go over one with her. Maybe her Mom's like Deanna.


	31. March 19,2005

Let's talk more about Shannon. Why do I get the feeling that when, by whatever means, she gets reunited with her mom, we're going to get a reworking of what we've already been told? Shannon said that she stopped and her mom kept walking. Probably her mom will say, "Shannon, I stopped and you kept going!"  
  
And as I said in another forum, I hope April doesn't get a big pat on the back for this. She's not being a hero. She's being a nice person, certainly, but not a hero. This is what you're *supposed* to do; it's not above and beyond the call of duty. And I hope Shannon's not supposed to be forever in her debt because of this.


	32. March 19,2005 - comments

Second panel -- anyone notice the extremely odd spelling of the word perfume? I assume this Lynn-esque spelling combined with the phunky phont is supposed to denote some sort of exotic locale?

  
Here’s hoping April isn't made it some hero becuase she was nice to Shannon. Of course seing as she's a Patterson and therefore a Cut Above the Rest. (see how when Ellie decides to move in and help out Deanna and Micheal with her kids she's a saint but if Deanna's mother were to the same thing she'd be a presumptous bitch)


	33. March 20,2005

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m using the added letters up to August 2008 as canon, then I will substitute the canon of For Richer or for Poorer in letter form, so no New Retcons with all its craziness.

Unnecessary dashes: One, in panel 1.  
  
It...must...really...suck...to...be...Shannon. I don’t know any 15 y/o, special needs or not, who would want to be fussed over in public that way. And it looks like the force of Mrs. Lake's hug makes April's tongue stick out. At least Shannon was able to deflect some of her humiliation in the last panel. Speaking of which, what is up with her lower body in that last panel? She has camel toe, and her right leg appears to end below the knee!  
  
But, I mean, what was the POINT of all this? Again, another non-dramatic conflict, and another simple, almost instantaneous resolution. So they stood together for one panel. Then mom came running back. Wow.  
  
Let's compare this with another comic strip, whose creator had the sense to quit before he got stale. Calvin went to the zoo with his parents, and Hobbes, and somehow managed to lose all three. Over the course of a week, IIRC, we saw the progression of the parents noticing his absence, Calvin grumbling about his having mistaken another woman for his mom, his futile attempt to ask the zoo's tigers if they'd seen Hobbes, Dad realizing that's where he must be, and panicking, and finally everyone being reunited.  
  
See, that had some dynamic. We saw the process by which he got lost and was found*, and we got a particularly good gag (Calvin leaning over tiger pit: "His name is Hobbes, and he's---Hey, I'm talking to you!") and no Very Special Lesson. I think Mom saying, "Next time you should ask a _person_ for help," was meant more to show that she was a sensible person, rather than to send a message.  
  
Granted, Calvin and Hobbes was never meant to be as true-to-life as FOOB. But it just seems that, lately, the only way to excuse FOOB's unfunniness is to say that it IS meant to be true to life, and therefore more subtle. Still, I don't think "true-to-life" means "can't tell a compelling story".  
  
*Although I'm not sure why the mistaken-for-Mom woman didn't escort Calvin to the lost children’s room, but maybe he ran off before she could offer.


	34. March 20,2005 - comments

April will be late to meet Becky at the food court because that one panel took a loooonnnnggg time. When she explains why she was late, there will be a tussle.

Or April shows up with...Shannon...and...her...mom at the food court, and there will be unpleasantness and/or amazingly-sudden humanity from Becky.  
  


Shannon's........elippses......are........a.......very......bad.......plot.....device......and......are..... driving....me......crazy.  
  


I do volunteer work with a local ARC and I've never seen anyone of the fifty or so learning disabled folks associated with the organization with a speech problem resembling Shannon's. (I'm going to discount the idea that she might have cerebral palsy) In fact, the opposite is a bit more common, in that the person with special needs has no problem speaking at normal speed, but sometimes when they get excited they can go even faster and become incomprehensible.  
  
There's one universal trait in them and I wonder if Lynn's going to show this in Shannon or has even noticed it, and that's that they have difficulty picking up on social cues. Sometimes it's more stark and they can't always socialize in a way that others find acceptable. In the former example, it manifests itself as, for example, laughing inappropriately, fixating on one thing for hours, yelling at the wrong times, talking about inappropriate things in mixed company, behaving like an eight year old when they're teens or older, that sort of thing. For the latter it can get more serious like genuine anger/rage over minor issues like getting the wrong drink, masturbating in public, or even sexual assault. I almost invited an attractive girl friend of mine out on one of our recreational outings, until I realized that one of the guys probably would have assaulted her. (Nothing truly serious, but to a woman who doesn't know him, incredibly awkward and embarrassing) There's a lot that fully abled people take for granted when it comes to conducting oneself in public. When you spend time around folks with serious mental deficiencies, you recognize that.  
  
And it doesn't make them bad people.

My prediction:  
Shannon, her mom and April go together to the food court. Becky is already there, flirting (b/c she is SO roadside) and is embarrassed that April is hanging out with a special needs person. It ends with April the Saint eating with Shannon and her mom and the punchline being how Becky is the one with the disability...the disablilty for tolerance.  
Anyways, I'm just putting it out there, see how close I get


	35. March 21,2005

_chucique_ says:  
  
I do volunteer work with a local ARC and I've never seen anyone of the fifty or so learning disabled folks associated with the organization with a speech problem resembling Shannon's. (I'm going to discount the idea that she might have cerebral palsy) In fact, the opposite is a bit more common, in that the person with special needs has no problem speaking at normal speed, but sometimes when they get excited they can go even faster and become incomprehensible.  
  
There's one universal trait in them and I wonder if Lynn's going to show this in Shannon or has even noticed it, and that's that they have difficulty picking up on social cues. Sometimes it's more stark and they can't always socialize in a way that others find acceptable. In the former example, it manifests itself as, for example, laughing inappropriately, fixating on one thing for hours, yelling at the wrong times, talking about inappropriate things in mixed company, behaving like an eight year old when they're teens or older, that sort of thing. For the latter it can get more serious like genuine anger/rage over minor issues like getting the wrong drink, masturbating in public, or even sexual assault. I almost invited an attractive girl friend of mine out on one of our recreational outings, until I realized that one of the guys probably would have assaulted her. (Nothing truly serious, but to a woman who doesn't know him, incredibly awkward and embarrassing) There's a lot that fully abled people take for granted when it comes to conducting oneself in public. When you spend time around folks with serious mental deficiencies, you recognize that.  
  
And it doesn't make them bad people.


	36. March 21,2005 - comments

“It'd also give some depth to Becky's rejection of her, but if done right, it shouldn't validate her feelings."  
  
Yeah, I remember one of Becky's objections, for lack of a better term, was "Her reading level is like grade 2!" As if Becky cares about anyone else's academic abilities.


End file.
